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haux's Dream Journal

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Bully at work

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Tuesday, August 8 2017

A man from the newsroom upstairs was bothering me at my desk at work. He had two friends with him who would laugh when he said or did something. He was bullying me. Pushing my chair, touching my things, saying mean things. It was angering me. I also had a deadline, and he was not making that easier. He grabbed a foam cup on my desk. It was like the type from a gas station. It had a small yellow Post-It note on the lid that said "dentist." He opened it even after I told him not to. I

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Ashamed of my bruises; I need evidence

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Wednesday, February 8 2017

I was in a locker room or someplace similar. I had to take a shower but didn't want to because there were other people there. I was ashamed because I had been beaten, and I didn't want anyone to see my bruises. Someone noticed that I wasn't showering. He asked me what was wrong. I told him and said I needed evidence. I said he should take pictures of my buttocks, which were bruised. He agreed to. We went into an empty area with about four showers. I pulled my pants down a little a

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I put my cat out of her misery

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Friday, December 9 2016

I was sitting on a couch in what might have been my childhood home. My childhood cat, She-Ra, crawled out from under it. She looked fatter. Her back legs weren't working. She rolled over on her back. Her face looked droopy. I asked if she was OK. I pet her stomach. She mewed and rolled on to her stomach. She crawled a little with her front legs, but she couldn't get far. I put my hand on her back and felt her heartbeat. It was pounding and fast. I realized she was dying. I didn'

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Forced to have sex

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Sunday, November 13 2016

I was on a small boat with a handful of strangers (or imaginary people?). I was told I had to have sex with a man on the boat. I didn't want to, but somehow they made me know it had to be done. A man got on his hands and knees and took his pants off. A woman reached under my shorts and tried putting a condom on me. She didn't do it right, so I took it off and threw it away. I said this wasn't going to work. She took off my pants and put another condom on. Both times she left to

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Tiny dogs

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Sunday, August 14 2016

My mom and I were in a room. She introduced me to a lot of puppies. They were tiny. At first I thought they were newborn Chihuahuas, but then I recognized them as several breeds but just very small. She handed me a white and brown terrier. It fit in the palm of my hand. I slapped it a little. I grabbed its throat. These tiny puppies made me angry, so I tortured some of them. I choked the terrier. I pulled another dog's ears until it whined. I slapped another one. Then I felt bad. I did

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Buffalo Bill imitation

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Friday, July 15 2016

I was with friends in a cafeteria. I was trying to quote Buffalo Bill from "The Silence of the Lambs." I pretended I was leaning against a doorway and said, "Oh, wait. Is she a great big fat ..." Someone interrupted me. 

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Dating a world-class falconer

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Sunday, February 7 2016

I was a woman. I was dating a world-class falconer, whatever that means. We were in a vehicle driving up a mountain. The dirty road was narrow and only had a few areas with guardrails. It made me nervous. The man had a falcon on his arm the whole time. I found this amusing.

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Some woman does my laundry

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Sunday, January 10 2016

I was in an unfamiliar house. A woman I don't know was offering to do my laundry. I didn't want her to because I had a pair of underwear that had some poop stains. I don't know how that happened.    She somehow got my clothes. Time had passed now and my laundry was done. I grabbed my clothes but saw that she hadn't cleaned the underwear very well. It looked like she tried to bleach it because the color was lighter. But the poop was still there. 

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Making a puppy cry

Rating
Monday, December 14 2015

I was inside a house. I was at the top of the stairs on the second floor. I had a cardboard box with a great Dane puppy inside. I remembered seeing a video of a crying puppy. I wanted to make this one cry.    I grabbed it by the scruff behind the neck and pinched it until it cried. It stopped once I let go, so I slapped it. I punched and pinched the dog. I hit its tongue.    I was torturing the dog so I could take a video of it crying. I felt awful. I didn't k

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Driving up I-95

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Saturday, November 1 2014

I was with my friend Stephanie and her boyfriend, Danny. They were planning on taking a road trip from Florida to North Carolina. The destination was 15 hours away. They invited me to come along. I don't know why they did. I looked at a map on my computer. I only had two days off and wondered if I could do anything in two days with 30 hours of travel. They said it could be done because they did it all the time.

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