Clarius...

Date of dream: Sunday, April 01, 2007

Level of Lucidity: N/A     Level of Cohesiveness:

This dream has been viewed 570 times.

*snip*

I was in some sort of caverns or catacombs. I think I was looking for someone... a friend. Her name was Clarius.

*snip*

I eventually reach her. She was with some people I don't know. They were all living in this cave-room. We go off together alone and then I start talking to her. We start reminiscing about the past and the way things were. I feel very satisfied, but I somehow knew things weren't going to go back. Clarius seemed to be a wonderful person.

*snip* (vaguely remember some explicit things. Nowhere near NC-17/R though. *shrugs* )

I don't know exactly when I realized it - maybe early on - but I 'knew' that Clarius was going to die. I don't quite remember but she had some sort of disease, or she had an addiction... or more likely, she had something that needed to be taken care of. I'm not sure. (It's confusing) Anyway, she was part of this religious sect of (in the dream) Buddhists. She had to undergo this ritual because of whatever it is she had. In the ritual, she has to take a drug. I don't recall the name. It was something like 'Red Powdered Tea'. It will kill her. According to them, she had to do it. Even Clarius thinks she needs to do this.

I went and met with a man; the group's leader. My classmate - for some dream-reason - was with me. I wanted to argue against what they were going to do. My classmate said something about better ways of treating what she had. He mentioned some of them but the group leader said that, according to what they believe, there was no other way. Even if the methods that my classmates mentioned were better, the foundations for those ideas weren't rooted in their own ideas/culture.

I remember arguing with him too. I was extremely angry, not at him in particular, but at just everything.

I didn't say anything afterwards, and I decided to go 'outside' into this bigger cave. The man followed me. I see a lot of entrances around the cavern wall. I knew that each of these led to a different sect of their belief. I turn to back to this leader and then started a heated conversation with him again. I'm still angry at everything.

"Your sect is just part of Hindui - " I stutter a bit as I forgot what group they were. "Hinduism. Buddhism. Whatever. Anyway, your sect is just one of many, right?"

He only nods his head at this question.

I gesture towards the many entrances and then continue. "And each of these houses one of your sects, right?"

Again, he agreed.

"And don't you think that they might have similar ideas as you do but different implementations of it? Their treatment might be better and still have the same foundations as yours. Maybe one of them has a better way?"

He only sort of agrees to this one. After all, what were the chances of finding a better way. Other people start to make noise in the background, muttering to themselves about the situation. It gets really noisy and I snap back at them. "QUIET!" I was really fuming now and the others suddenly go quiet.

I then give a bit of an insane suggestion. "What if I went to each and every one of these sects to find out a better way?" There must have been hundreds of entrances that could be seen from where I was. I didn't mind having to go to every one. I'd do it if I had to.

I hear noise from far away and I see people I know. Apparently, they followed me or we're looking for me or Clarius. I'm not sure if they knew what was going on. They all start going inside the cave I was in, where Clarius was. I see some people were also going out from there. They were the same people that went in.

I realized what could have happened and go inside too. There's a line of people there and then I tell my classmate, "Clarius did it already, didn't she?" He nodded.

I go inside to where the people where going. Someone handed me a piece of paper of ingredients of what Clarius took. The room she was in looked liked an altar etched into the cave rock. I see her immediately lying face up with her head submerged in a pool of water. I crumple the paper I had in my hands and I'm almost angry at her for dying. I whisper her name, and something else. I try to fight back tears that were welling up in my eyes. I'm not sure if I cried.

(Looking back on the dream, I wish she let me get a chance to say goodbye.)

---

I then 'wake up' into another dream. I thought I had really woken up though. I feel my left cheek and it's wet. My eyes are hazy with moisture as I go upstairs and into the bathroom. I look at the mirror and looked at myself. I was freaking out a bit that may be I had cried IRL. (Others would know why I'd be freaking out.) I hoped I didn't cry. I hoped that the wetness I felt on my cheek was just drool or something.

As I go outside and then into the kitchen, I see my father and he asks me why I'm crying/cried. I tell him that I didn't cry. I still remember the 'dream' I had and kept thinking about it. I keep thinking about Clarius. Clarius was a made-up name... for an idea I once had for a character. I remember wondering where do made-up characters go when they're gone? I found myself wishing that even though she wasn't real, I'd still meet her in an afterlife or something since maybe even fictional characters need to go somewhere when they 'die'.

*snip*

I was with my family as we ate dinner, I think. My brother - or someone else - mentioned what happened to me. He mentioned the dream I had in detail and I was awe-struck that he knew. He said that others had the same dream or something like that. I begin to wonder about the dream. My father says something scientific that could explain it. It was something about mass delusion or bacteria.

I then wake up for real.

Additional Comments:

(Very powerful dream. I think this is the first time in I a really long time that I even 'cried' in a dream. I don't even recall any dream where I even got the urge to. I didn't find myself crying IRL though. My eyes were dry when I woke up. )
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