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I just like to ponder some things. Walking, for an instance. We have the impression that we have a
geography about dreams, don't we? We must have. Our dream country. I used to have many dreams about
walking (of course, we walk in dreams, that's normal, but I reffer to dreams wich appear to have
walking as a main theme). Exploring neigbourhoods, contemplating houses, corners, landscapes and
such. They are very real (real meaning here full of details), and mark me a lot. I'm a walker in RL,
I like to take walks and do exactly what I do in dreams. A thing that is very recurring is that I
pick a Bus, usually at the end of the dream, to go home. Isn't that so funny: dreams that finish
when I pick a Bus?
When I was a kid those walking dreams used to take me to more magical places, and to recurrent
sites. Such as a certain beach, a big mall outside the city (walking on malls, exploring convenience
stores is also a recurrent theme), a place very magical: grassy, with many gorgeous fountais, and
rolling stairs: an open place, with many floors not built by man, plateus, grass ground, rolling
stairs, fountais, a
mix of a mall and a country field. And I usually meet my parents in this place, seated on a bar
table with friends in the middle of the nothing. I can feel what it means. We have a world inside,
and explore it in dreams. But is it really inside? Is my dreams just mine or are they conected to
other dream countries or with something outside? If Jung is right and dreams are about the
unconscious, we share it, don't we?
The crazy thing is that our conciousness, our flow of thinking, don't stop in dreaming. We think,
talk to ourselves, in dreams. I think that's the reason we can learn on dreams. I'm researching
that: cognitive experience, learning in dreams and learning dream things. When we are young we dream
about being persecuted and can't run. When I grew up I never had dreams about it anymore. Probally
my development in awaken life had done that for me. But the contrary can be true? Like winning a
situation in the dream and after that being improving something in real life? (I use the term "real
life" just to refer to awaken life, but that doesn't mean I think one thing is more "real" than the
other, I'm just a primitive: I believe in what I dream) Today I stay and fight whatever persecutes me
in dreaming. Today I run and run.
I remember a dream I had many years ago in wich I did quite a run. Crossed worlds I could say. And I
was in such a hurry that I grabed the woods and pulled them to me to accelerate, I grabed the ground
like I was not going ahead but pulling the earth. Eventually I got to a train rail, met my cousin
Virgilio there, and talked some important things with him.
I talk a lot in dreams. Talk to people, animals, myself, magical beings. And a constant: I never
remember the words! Is there any exercise to fix that?
I had a dream of walking, I was in the city, left the city to the woods, in the woods there was a
house, I got inside, is like I lived there. I'm so sure of myself in dreams, so free! The house was
familiar, I remember a smell of children piss in a matt. The house was full of people I knew from a
long time ago. But I didn't stay there. I go on. I'm good at entering and lefting in dreams, and
also a good thieve: I go up walls, open doors. I rarelly find a locked door.
As I write this so many dreams pass trough my mind, dreams I had many many years ago and still have
it in mind. When I was very young I dreamt I entered a small room and there was a beautefull naked
girl in there and I just shit her! The image of that shit above her fine naked skin (in her belly)
had never left me (of course, is guarded in those last drawers that we don't open all the time).
One last memory, just not to enlarge this so much: In one of my walkings I got in some high part of
the town. And I found myself in a neigbourhhod all made of, the word closest to it was celestial,
celestial houses. They were not mansions but they were big, close to castles but far more pretty,
more "homish", warm, confortable, with colorfull glasses, fine gardens, towers, etc... celestial
palaces, thats the term. All I know is that this place exists and I don't believe it is "mine" or
just inside of me, its a universal place. Maybe the way it showed itself to me is a single way, but
the place itself was a power place, a God's place. I just walked the streets, watched the houses. I
couldn't enter those. I felt such a feeling of enlightenment and nostalgia, I just met it in my
experiences with mind expansion religious rituals with vegetables. I visited those places during my
"trips". I know they exist.
How can a life be guidded by such strange things? Dreaming is more real to me than my real life. I'm
not from this world.
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I used to have recurrent dreams about vampires when I was young. I was aways at my grandmother's
house (I've been dreaming with this house latelly). I spend some years living there in my early
childhood, when my mother and father got divorce. It may have something to do with this. Well, the
basic plot: I'm inside the house with my familie, and outside is night and there are vampires all
around. They had kinda taken over the world and we were sieged in there. The dreams vary in
duration, intensity and details but they were very recurrent. In many of them my parents begin to
turn into vampires too, or some vampires could invade the house. Those dreams were veeeery scary. I
remember my grandmother usually becomes vampire, a very menacing one, like a vampire leader. I have
had dreams about my grandma being evil sometimes.
In one of those dreams (one of the last ones or maybe the last one) I survived the night and left
the house in early morning. Around this time my mother lived very close to there, and I run home.
There is a huge declive in the way and when I was running there I did a big jump. All got slow
motion while I was in the air and when I landed I have travelled to the future. It was night. My
house didn't existed anymore, a big skycrapper was in its place, and there were no sign of my mother.
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I am walking a path at night. Its a large path, with plenty of grass on the sides, I can't see very
far, is in the farm, I see no houses. At some point I see two figures crossing the road. They're all
in white, and I think they were black. Its a man and a woman. The man is tall and thin and uses a
elegant hat, and so the woman. In my mind (I think a lot in the dreams, the same as real life,
sometimes I think that's what makes me remember them) I know they're an exu and oxum couple (african
deities, similar to hermes and aphrodite of the greeks). They pass by me, seem to notice me, but we
do nothing about that. They come and go. Then I'm sudelly half awake, lying in my bed naked as I was
sleeping, but at the same time in the same path I was, in the night, naked, lying on the floor. A
very cold wind comes over me. I say many prayings to Oya, goddes of the wind and guide of the dead
in the path to the afterlife, while I tremble half dreaming half awake, and the wind does something
like cleaning me. Then I'm finally awake. I say to myself I must remeber this, afterall I have been
calling for Oya's freeing energies, she answered to those it seems, and I turn aside and sleep again.
Now I'm in this very big saloon, like a stadium. It is at the same time Luis temple. Juininho, a
musician our brother is going to do a gig. It is a very big gig, the stage is huge, the sound system
is portentous, there are sound engineers and professional iluminators. As a brother of him, along
with others, I'm in charge of directing the thing. While I work in it, and Juninho does some
rehearsal, I talk, sometimes to my mother who seems to be performing some function to us, and
Amilton, a friend. We talk about spiritual matters me and Amilton, as we walk from side to side.
Luis and Manuel are not present. People start to get along for the show. The music begins. Its rock
and roll! In RL, juninho is a player of Rabeca, an istrument similar to the violin, and is played
with folklore music. But in the dream Juninho is a guitar and vocalist player of a common rock band.
I'm watching his show form the backstage, by the side of the sound engineer. One of the woofers is
not working well, I remember trying to fix it, pulling some wire, fixing some conections.
Next thing its the day after. I'm in the street, under a sunny morning, talking to Douglas (other
friend and also a Lui's pupil) and a girl I don't remember about how big was the salary me and
Juninho had in our ocupation (wich was? Music?). Then is like I have a flashback to a moment in the
show were Juninho afirms on the microphone to win R$ 18000 a month. I say to Douglas I earn R$
20000! (Actually I earn R$ 520) And I afrim it's being hard form me to make some economy, and that a
should keep 5000 a month to be able to buy something big, like a house.
Then it's like is afternoon, almost sunset, and I'm with my mother and my friend Clovis. I put some
music of my own and say that next one to do a show at Luis place its me. I discuss with them about
how would be the format of the show, since I do eletronic music and wasn't sure what to do in the
stage. I conjecture about a performance with shadow theatre, since I practice it sometimes.
Then it changes completely again. Its like a movie now. Its a school of martial arts in china. They
were training. There were beautefull images, fine moves, sometimes it changed to animated drawings.
They used swords. The master had supernatural powers. Its just like those recent chinese movies,
like "The Dragon and The Tiger" and Zang Zimou's "Hero". Suddely the master says: Final challenge.
The one who cuts its arm is the winner (?) They fight. A woman is doing very good (thinking now all
the students were womans). Then the master does a power strike that puts all the girls in the wall
at once, but the good fighting woman uses her sword to cut the master's arm. It bleeds. They got up
one in front of the other. The master seems angry to have lost. The girl says, in that chinese
correct yelled way: "The other girls have lost consciousness, master!" It have distracted the
master, he does a spell to awake the girls. At this point, they were fighting in a corner near the
martial arts academy (their fight had gone above the wall). Then a strange being shows up: It is the
Spider Queen. She's like a puppet spider inside a chocolat egg. The egg opens itsef showing the
Spider. She says she wants to talk to the master about her children. Her children is a lot of
chocolat bonboniaire, specially very atractfull crockant ones, above wich the Queen is seated. I
feel the smell of chocolat, so I bite it. I bite the "walls" of the egg. I'm not quite there, is
like I'm just a big mouth. I think about the fact that inside those bonbons were little spiders but
I don't seem to care, I bite the bonbons. They have plain chocolat taste.
I awake, still with the taste in my mouth.