Old closet, trans* issues.

Date of dream: Monday, March 26, 2007

Level of Lucidity: N/A     Level of Cohesiveness:

This dream has been viewed 803 times.

Amberly and I were leaving somewhere, a museum of some kind, I think. We were in the car, driving out of the parking garage. I was pre-T. We were lesbians. I became aware of this, and it was a relief.

We got home. She brought a mouse out of her pocket and we put him in my sink that didn't drain well, and we turned on the water, just enough for it to cover his feet. He drank from the water and we kept refilling it to the same level as he drank. At some point, it changed into a small blue duck, about the same size. When Amberly left the room, it changed into a small naked man, still the same size. I found him a small measuring spoon to use as a cup to drink from.

We were in North Star Mall in Texas. Amberly and I were with my family. We'd flown in from Florida for my cousin's wedding, and Elena was here from New York. I went into one store where very young children were demonstrating their advanced intellect by performing tasks way above their level. One child grabbed a handful of seeds, sprouts, and shed seed husks and threw it at two other children, and it was harmless, but I knew it should've contained something dangerous like blades or gunpowder. Then I realized we were in a horror movie. Their teacher pulled a gun and had this crazy smile on her face. I noticed people getting up from rows of chairs and went to stand with them. I saw my mom among them. She told me that this was just a show and I didn't have to stay for it.

I left to find Elena. She'd found all these old things we used to have in our study and was selling them on EBay. I wanted to talk to her and see some of the things I hadn't seen in years. (When we lived in Texas, we shared a room and there was a door that looked like it would lead to a closet but it was about twice the size of a walk-in closet and inside, we each had a bookshelf and a desk. It was a very small room but it was ours, and it always felt secret, and we kept our most treasured things there.)

I walked through the mall, wondering how far the house was. I knew it wasn't that far, maybe 5 minutes, but too long to walk to. I thought about getting a cab. I remembered there was one with the number 222-2222 when I lived there (true fact). Before I found the exit, I was distracted by a rack of dresses. They were short, came to mid-thigh, had straps. They were grey, grey and red, black and red... I walked over and was looking at them, wanted to buy one. Then I noticed Jackie standing next to me, also looking at them. I asked if she'd seen a medium or a small. I couldn't remember what size I used to wear.

I went to look at some paintings on the wall and she followed. She asked if I wanted to be a woman. I told her I used to be one and that I wasn't sure. I just had so much shit going on right now. She said there are surgeries I could have to get a vagina, and I told her I already had one... it just didn't lead to anything. (Hysterectomy last summer.) She said it's still a hole that can be used for sex, and I said that doesn't mean anything because I've never had an interest in sex.

Suddenly, I noticed two hand-drawn pictures of photograph quality, framed in broken frames. In each was the woman who'd pulled a gun in the store. I knew Elena knew her, and this let me know that I was close to finding Elena. I noticed a hall I hadn't seen before in the wall at which I was standing, and knew that this would lead me to the old house. I followed the hall and came to a pair of large, ornate doors. Walking through them, I found myself standing outside the house. It was night and it was dark, and I had this very scary feeling like I was walking through an old, abandoned house in a horror movie.

As I walked toward the house, I was stopped by someone or something repeatedly. I can't remember anything more about this scene than that.

I did make it into the house. The furniture had been rearranged and there were things carved into the back of the chairs. I went up to our old room, opened the door to the study, and stepped into a foot of white, cloudy bath water that wasn't draining. I couldn't see the carpet through the water. The whole room had an old, abandoned feel to it. Most of my old things were still on my desk, but I realized I hadn't come up there for them. I'd expected to find Elena. She wasn't there.

I woke up.
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    Lucid dream to false awakening.

    Date of dream: Sunday, July 23, 2006

    Level of Lucidity:     Level of Cohesiveness:

    This dream has been viewed 694 times.

    I dreamed I woke up and left the apartment to go to the store. When I got outside, the parking lot was almost empty. It was quiet. There were no other people outside, and I couldn't find my car. I knew I wouldn't have parked it anywhere else. This made me wonder if I were dreaming, so I decided to test. (I almost didn't, thinking about how stupid I'd look if I were awake.) I jumped in the air, then found myself suspended above the ground horizontally and spinning. I was going to do something, but I decided it was better to wake up so that I wouldn't forget that I went lucid.

    I tried to wake up, saying I was having a lucid dream -- I actually felt my mouth moving, heard the words, and then I was in my bed in the Texas house and I told Amberly and my mom about the dream. I was still dreaming, but I thought I'd actually woken up and I was no longer lucid.

    What's weird is how the dream got progressively stranger from here, but it was a very normal scene that made me realize I was dreaming and I kept thinking I was awake, even though things just kept getting weirder and more impossible.
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    parking lot
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