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i am in houston again and my brother is with me. we are in a big waiting room with a lot of people. there are chairs and couches. we arrive with our stuff (we have bags, like luggage) and as we drop our stuff i say to him "well, this is houston." he seems unimpressed and i understand. there is a connecting room (another waiting room) with lots of big windows. someone makes an announcement (over an intercom or from an unseen desk) that the wait is going to be a while. i rush us over to the other room so that we can get a couch. i explain to my brother that this is going to be more than a "a while" it is going to be more like 16 hours and we need somewhere to stretch out (especially me being pregnant). he seems doubtful, but trusts me anyway. we snag a foldout loveseat in the big windowed room. an older couple (in their sixties) is sitting in some chairs facing the side of the loveseat. their chairs are rather close to the loveseat, but i just ignore them. the man is stretched out and leaning back, kind of making a 45 degree angle with his body. his wife is a heavy lady. she is just sitting and staring blankly. their bags are around their feet and under the chairs. i actually feel a bit bad that we have the loveseat, but i have been so uncomfortable, and just can't face another long day or night in those chairs. i feel the pregnancy makes it understandable. i notice that everyone in the room has travel bags. my brother gets up once, but i tell him he needs to get back to the sofabed; we don't want to lose our place. i realize that there is a very thin, tall, black girl trying to snuggle up between us. i express my displeasure at her crowding in with us uninvited (and a stranger) but i let her stay there anyhow, since she is so very slender. her brother is perched on the floor leaning back against the end of the sofabed. he has a knapsack beside him on the ground.
there is an earthquake. i look around for my brother who is trying to walk back from a bathroom or closet; he is standing in the doorway or at the end of a hallway. as he is walking, he looks like he is trying to keep his balance on a surfboard with his arms out to the sides, rocking back and forth with the waves of the ground. i am waiting impatiently for him with our parents. i tell him to hurry - we have to get out! i know we are only on the third floor (of a four or five story building?) but looking out the window at the identical building next to us, the bricks look old and like they are cracking. i believe we escape downstairs and out.
i am loading my suitcases into Brian's dad's van. i am sitting in the van and am trying to repack them, but i can't get them just so or how i had them before. i keep trying to zip up the larger suitcase with the smaller one inside, but somehow it won't fit with the clothes in it, although i think that it should work. i know that there are people waiting behind us in the "airport car line" but Brian's dad says the people don't mind, that this line is for doing stuff like this and the waiting is just part of it. i am awkwardly trying to change clothes in the van, but can't get my outfit to look the way i want it to. i can't find the right piece. Concetta is getting impatient and is grumbling and rolling her eyes.
Brian and i end up in a labor and delivery suite. the baby is out and i don't remember any of the birth. apparently they gave me an injection of something when i didn't know it. i am absolutely livid that they would do something like that without consent! Brian is telling me how sorry he is that things didn't go according to our birth plan. he is very upset for me too; he seems to really understand how important it was to me and i am worried he feels responsible that he couldn't prevent it from happening. a nurse is holding the baby up by the scruff of its neck. it is very small, about the size of a four month old kitten. it looks like gizmo the mogwai. (not cute fuzzy gizmo - creepy gremlin gizmo)! but i love it anyway. it has two tongues, one attached to the other. they are stacked on top of each other. the l&d nurse explains to me that the top one "should come off" and "the baby will just swallow it gradually, piece by piece." this makes me gag to think about. i almost sense the feeling of swallowing the tongue and practically throw up. the lactation consultant tells me that baby won't be able to nurse because of the second tongue. this makes me even more depressed. i am just so angry and sad. i don't want to feed the baby formula, and i don't understand why everything has gone wrong. nobody will tell me anything.
(this was a few days after i had been over to MD Anderson for a week)
the outfit i was trying to change into was the outfit i ended up wearing to work when i got up, although i didn't realize it until lunchtime when i finally had a chance to write my dream down.
when i came back from lunch, one of my patients that came in looked just like the tall skinny black girl from the couch. she was a new patient ... someone i had never met before.
of course i am having the usual weird prego dreams anyhow, and i'm sure that i gave a normal amount of anxiety about the birth, and if the baby will be healthy, and if i will be able to nurse. i know all this is normal, but the latter part of the dream was utterly disturbing
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This dream has been viewed 453 times.
[can't remember the beginning]
i am in some woods
there are a lot of people (high school aged) around
there is a girl (almost like from movie Carrie)
the other people seem to be pointing at her, some laughing, some afraid
the girl looks at some one intensely and the person bursts into flames
some people stand there in fear, others start running but she sets them on fire with her eyes; they are really scared now
i feel frightened but know i am not in danger at that point
she comes to our house (not our house IRL)and is staying with us
she may be a boy now, around 11ish, but still a firestarter
i know from research in my dad's books and study that this person is possessed by an ancient demon
my mom is trying to get me to eat but i just want to have cake for breakfast
i tell her i will have to stay late at school
she says i don't have to; i never have to
i look at the demon and back at mom and she understands and says it's okay if i have to stay late
i say i have to study in the library
i am at a gym and i am trying to convince my brother to run on the same treadmill with me
i feel safer when he is with me
he says no that i will be fine on the treadmill alone
i think he doesn't like the music i am listening to, but i feel very frightened without him
i ask him if he will sleep in the same room with me that night like when we were kids because i am so afraid
i know that everyone else is in trouble but i know if we stick together we will make it okay
now i am in a class with some students, planning
it is twilight
i am supposed to lead them out of the stands and around the track to the field for the show
there is a young black boy that is going to be in front of the line of kids
somehow he runs out ahead of me; he is carrying a torch perhaps and a flag?
i know this means trouble for both of us but there is nothing to be done about it now
[lost the rest of this dream]
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Lucid Technique: Other
This dream has been viewed 2243 times.
Brian and i are looking at a house that is for sale. park outside on the street. i notice that there are four beach chairs in the front yard, the kind you sunbathe in, only they are all lined up in the shade. i think this would be a perfect yard for sunbathing, even though the yard seems to be predominately shady. there is also a little pine-straw garden in the front behind the chairs. there are four crape myrtle trees planted right in a row and there is a fig tree (that is really a vine) interspersed among them. we enter the house only to discover that another couple just snatched it right from us. somehow they already have all of their stuff moved in. the husband is peculiar, but he leaves to go out for a jog. the wife is pregnant. she is slavic and she has a very long intriguing name that i can spell but can't pronounce. she says that most people call her "socksy," even though the abbreviation of her name should be pronounced "shashi." Brian and i talk to her for a while, especially about how the "garden" makes no sense with the trees the way they are, but we feel like she is sneaky and lying to us about something. we are also jealous that she snatched the house.
Andrew and i are discussing war with shashi, but then Mama tells us that we have to leave make it to the "race" on time. Andrew gets in the back of the van; Mom is driving. Linzy (one of my bridesmaids) is there too, only she isn't really Linzy, but i just know that is who she is "supposed to represent" in my dream. she is in a pink strapless dress (ugh) and she needs a better pink bra, because you can totally see her black bra all kinds of sticking out from under the dress and it is not doing a very good job of securing her new big boobs. it is late at night now when we arrive at the hotel. i have taken my shoes off and climb back in the van to retrieve them. as i stand outside the the rear of the van putting my shoes on, i knock Linzy's suitcase openon the ground. i quickly repack it; she has everything rolled. i am wearing a wedding dress (not mine IRL) with jeans on underneath.
it is the next day and we are getting ready for the race. i am going to be roller-skating on ice to retrieve a jar of honey. while i wait for my turn, i stand on the wooden deck (sort of like where you get on the log flume ride at six flags); i even think there was water. there was a wooden beam over to the side. i am waiting for my group's race to begin and lean against the beam when i notice a spiderweb with writing in it (like in charlotte's web). there is a stop sign tacked to the beam above it. the stop sign says ALEXIS and the web hanging from it says "good job". there are two more; the second stop sign says ALEXIS and the web says [i forgot what, but something along the lines of the first] and the third stop sign says ALEXIS and the web says "call a loved one". i realize that if i take the webs o the judge that he will realize that i am supposed to be the one that wins the race. i take the first one over to him, but he tells me to hang on a second, and while i am waiting for his attention, i accidentally tangle up the web into a mess of cob. i ruin the second one as i try to take it down. i walk back over to where i was waiting to begin with, and i hear an announcement over an intercom that the race is over; someone already found the honey. i feel like this is not fair; i didn't even get a chance to race and i was all nervous and excited. i am upset that the judge didn't even get to see the miraculously cool spiderweb signs. the judge says that the gymnastic race event is up next. i feel sad. i decide to call my Daddy. i sneak off around a corner for some privacy. i think that Brooke W is looking for me, but Dana D sees what i am trying to do and distracts Brooke, telling her i went another way. i feel grateful for Dana's helping me hide. as i sit in the corner trying to ring my Daddy, i notice a really awesome Fox racing suit laid out on a bleacher. it is just my size, but it is the prize for whomever wins the gymnastic event. there is nobody around (except a few people training, but they can't see me at all) and i really want it badly and am tempted to steal it, but i decide not to because it would be wrong. i feel stressed out that i can't reach my Daddy at work and i know he isn't at home.
suddenly dr Wiedmer walks out of an exam room. he sees me sitting on the floor with my phone and asks what is wrong. there is a patient behind him at the counter that has an entire case of vials of liquid darvocet. dr W is trying to figure out how he could have gotten it. i look in the guy's chart and see that i had written the prescription and that dr W had just signed it, but the way that i had written it out could have been interpreted two ways, and had obviously been filled not in the way we intended. i feel bad because i feel like it was really my fault instead of the pharmacy's, even though they should have called us before filling it. i am covering for Concetta in clinic; she is working in xray (for me?). i help dr W figure out what is going on, but in the meantime, the patient becomes impatient and walks out of the clinic. i think we can't let him leave with all that darvocet! even though it was filled, it WAS a mistake, and nobody could take that much without dying, so he must be planning to sell it. i run after him to tell him to come back, that i will make sure that dr W is right with him next. i tell him that i will make sure he gets whatever he needs, if only he will come back. i just know that we have to confiscate that darvocet somehow, and i know dr W will know what to do about it. i reach him near the xray slots by the scales. i notice it is much brighter than usual. the man - his name is jeff something - seems to be wobbly. i catch him by the arm. he smells like alcohol, like he has just swallowed gallons of beer and whisky. he reeks of it; i don't know how it went unnoticed before! he passes out in the hall and falls to the floor. i feel like this is an emergent problem, like he is in an alcoholic coma and death is imminent. a male orderly (tall, dark-haired, and thin - Paul V?) helps me get him up and back to and exam room. Archie tries to rouse him and i ask him who his doctor is. he mumbles "dr Wilson." i say "no no not your neurosurgeon, who is your medical doctor?" he says "[somelongfirstname] Davis." i think no wonder he has kidney problems (which makes no sense). i walk out to the counter. Concetta comes out from xray and says "it's weird to be here at work but not be working with dr Wiedmer."
[TRANSITION] *IRL- as i do every day, at 5:00 AM an alarm awakens me to take my temperature for NFP charting. the heat is set to 70F and because of this, my nose is stuffy, (which i find to be one of the more miserable states in life). i get up, pee, turn on the fan, and crawl back in bed, feeling certain that i will be unable return to sleep until i have to rise for work. i decide to put my earbuds in and listen to some mid-theta-wave binaural beats. i have only tried this once before (for about a week) but was unable to find a comfortable way to make it a habit, and due to changing circumstances, never revisited the wonderful (two hour?) looped cd that my brother made me two years ago. at any rate, i am lying in bed, listening to a (not near as good as my bro's) recording of said waves and do not feel drowsy in the slightest. in fact, i start doubting the theory completely, thinking if i am lying here in an alpha-wave state, thinking about all this crap, just listening to some theta waves is not going to change my thinking alpha waves inot theta waves just because i can hear them because my alpha waves are the ones that are hearing the theta waves.*
AND THEN all of a sudden, completely awake, still contemplating the above, i see the butterfly room from the chattanooga aquarium. there is a man sitting at a desk at one side, some bleachers behind him. i hear my voice in the butterfly room say do you think theta waves and binaural beats work? (and i am still awake and i know that i didn't really say anything, but i can HEAR it, not like i thought it) and then dr Payne (who is also in the butterfly room) says "well, you know, some things like that can work; what do you think about it?" (addressing this last bit to the man at the desk). as dr Payne is speaking, he is standing in front of a small square table with a white table cloth and he is stacking plates on it and then folding a flap of cloth over the plates and then more plates and then a flap of cloth up and then more plates. and i think to myself this is really weird because i know i am awake but the vision is so tangible; i FEEL like i am there. i can smell the flowers in the butterfly room and i can sense the gentle breeze of things floating around me. but i feel so heavy, like sludge.
[so i guess it does something] TRANSITION
i am at dinner with my family. someone (a "cousin") is getting married. we go out to dinner to celebrate (at the "Apple Barn"). many congratulatory toasts at dinner. when we are leaving, i notice that my cats are all in the parking lot. i also see Turtle (deceased) there. i want to take her with me, but i know that she is not really alive. Butter and another cat are hanging out around her. i think there are flies flying around her mouth, but i squint and try not to look too hard because i don't want to torture myself. i try to round the cats up, back to the car. i put one of them in the kiddie seat of a shopping cart (either Feral or Skittish) and push him back to the car. now i am at "my" old mellow mushroom, only it is laid out nothing like a restaurant IRL. it has three or four stories. it is very dark. i haven't got an appetite; i'm feeling unwell and have only picked at my pizza. it is time for dessert and i have some banana pudding with mini-pretzels instead of nilla wafers, but before i get to taste it Lindsey J takes it away. the onde blmother of the brother of the person my cousin is marrying is going to make a speech. she is greek. the brother is a chef there and he announces her. he has longish curlyish blackish hair and is slightly goodlooking in a mysterious way. i don't want to listen to her speech and sneak off. everyone goes downstairs to hear her, but i lag behind. i go up to the second level and notice a sign behind a door that says "BEWARE OF HAMSTERS" as a warning not to fear them but to avoid stepping on them. i go upstairs to the top. there are two doors, the one on the left leads to NOWHERE and it is painted. i remember that i helped paint the scene on it. the one on the right leads to bobby b's room. there is a sign next to the door that says "this room is closed." it is a pretty sign that i always had wanted and i take it down and put it in my purse. i know that it indicates that he has given up and left. i enter the room. art everywhere, some of it is mine. i am looking for some shorts to wear. i know i have to wear shorts for the meeting and that he still has some of my clothes. i open a chest of drawers. it is filled with another girl's clothes. i don;t know why, but this really pisses me off. i wonder why he thinks he needs to act so melancholy, when in fact, he's not even there, he has completely moved on. i can't find my shorts, but whoever the girl is has lots of cool socks that i am jealous of. i see some baseball memorabilia and decide i better get back downstairs with everyone else. i go down a few flights of stairs and get to a basemen. i see a hamster run under a step in a hole. Skittish sees it too and starts running really fast in circles over and over like crazy. i notice some hamster poop on the floor by some boards.