Lucid Intent? No
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When the dream started I was in "my house." Felt feverish, my body wracked with pain. I called someone and was telling them that I wanted painkillers or just anything to help me not feel like death, and then she showed up. It was Maura Tierney the actress, who is a good bit older than me but beautiful in my opinion. In the dream we'd known each other a while and it seemed like she worked at a hospital because she started writinng some kind of application for me to make things easier when I see a doctor. It seemed like we had a tenuous relationship, like there had always been some unspoken sexual tension there, and I was tempted to say something about it but didn't. A few "friends" started showing up, some I know and some I don't. Maura left and one of the friends handed me a bottle of vodka or something which I gladly hit hoping to reduce the physical pain, and handed it off. They'd been invited to a friend's house, someone I didn't know, and were eager to head off. I was invited out of what seemed like social obligation, bored, and left with them.
CUT (DAY): We were outside the friend's house and the crew was now about 7 strong. It was your typical horror-movie assembly of beautiful assholes. It was a plain, faded white, average-size two-floor house among many others. No one was answering the front door so we went around back and tried there, but still no answer. The lead guy was checking his cell phone and looking in windows. He said, "I know this is the house, I swear. This is it. I don't know where he is, but he said he'd be here." He quickly got impatient and kicked the back door in. My view cut like a camera to the inside where I saw the door come off its hinges and then very slowly fall flat, kicking up a huge cloud of dust and revealing our concerned-looking group peering inside carefully, then it cut back to my view again.
It looked like no one had been in there in years. It was a fully stocked house with all the basics, there were even two cats running around, and yet it had been unoccupied by humans for a long time. As soon as we walked in I got this foreboding feeling, like I could sense the presence of evil. Something was very wrong with this house.
(NIGHT) Everyone started partying, busting out the weed, the booze, smoking cigarettes, and I felt very excluded. No one shared anything and I was largely ignored. We sat down to watch a horror movie after a while. We all sat on the floor and I was leaned up against the wall. One of the pretty girls with us sat next to me with a smile and layed her head on my shoulder. By about an hour in she was much more cuddled close and I was getting a strong vibe so I kissed her on the neck and pulled her in tighter, and she immediately pulled back and said, "I don't want my friends to think something's going on when it's not." I stood up completely and said loudly, "No problem, absolutely nothing is going on here, now is it? It's all a joke." Immediately I thought, "I just messed up any chance I had with her. No chance now." I thought about it for a moment and realized that there was nothing to mess up, she was a dumb bitch more concerned with what people think of her than about a guy trying to be romantic and treat her right, so fuck her. I spent the next several hours following the crowd room to room. They'd start a movie and after a few minutes I'd realize I was by myself again. A rainstorm was building up outside, howling wind and pattering against windows. Eventually I gave up and started wandering the creepy, dark house, occasionally seeing one person who would actively avoid me.
I think at this point I probably woke up very briefly, because the dream got fuzzy and then when it became clear I was much more lucid. I walked into the room they were in and they all just gave me this look, like, "You again?" It was the final straw. I said aloud, calmly, "You know what? Fuck this." I pulled out a heavy caliber revolver and the girl's eyes went wide before I shot her in the forehead, blood and brain matter splattering the wall. Before the rest could really react fully I'd put a bullet in each of them. I thought, "How convenient, six people, six bullets." The other shots weren't as accurate so there were a couple people writhing around in pain. I reloaded and finished them off and walked out the kicked-down door into the rainstorm.
Once I got outside all hell broke loose, literally. It was as if it was destined, like the house was some kind of black-magic ritualistic catalyst to release Satan and I'd been the dupe who had been driven crazy by it. I had a funny thought when the ground opened up beyond me and a 1000 foot tall demon made of lava rose up with a roar. "Shoulda stuck with Maura Tierney." Then I woke up.
Man. Pretty intense, right?
I've been feeling like a paraiah lately. But it's more of a subtle thing. I see it in peoples' eyes and it doesn't need to be spoken. I'm broke, can't find work because I have no car. I catch interest from women and as soon as they find that out contact suddenly breaks off. I want it to not be that important because I can't do much about it right now, and people get that so they're not forthcoming with things, but that doesn't mean I'm not picking it up in a tangible way. People see me as a burden and I'm starting to feel like I'm homeless again, even though I'm not.
It was raining when I woke up. And just nasty outside. Grey. Cold. Ugly. It's the kind of morning where I wake up depressed, knowing winter is coming and my prospects are dimming.
As fucked up as this dream was, it was likely a good bit of catharsis.