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(DAY) I'm in a car with my friend Eric driving to his house with a bunch of goods for a party; beer, cigarettes, pizza, weed. We arrive and hang out in his basement for a while before people begin arriving and with the crowd, my ex Kaleigh. I just sort of avoid her in subtle ways and float around the party until I notice she has a hold of my dream journal (the one by my bed that I have in real life). I'm paralyzed at first until I see a page where I wrote about a dream I had with her in it and I grab it from her. She looks pissed and I say, "I'm sorry, I really am. I didn't mean to grab it so rudely, but there's things in here you don't need to read, things that don't matter anymore." On her way rushing out the door she tells me to come outside across the street to talk to her if I have any hope of ever getting back together with her. After a minute or two of distraction I go outside to find that the entire yard has become a wet mud-pit, which I immediately slip and fall in. The mud soaks into my pants ruining my dreamjournal so I tried to brush myself off, noticing the feeling of mud between fingers, and put the book in Eric's car. I look to where Kaleigh is across the way looking fed up, throwing her hands in the air and checking her watch. It's the suburbs, and I walk to a parking lot across the street where she's with two young guys who are smoking weed. They offer me a hit and I take it, then Kaleigh and I started walking in a direction leaving them behind.
We seemed to get pretty tight during the walk and it felt as if nothing was different than it was when we used to hang out at first and things were relaxed, goofy and jovial. I don't remember the exact content of our conversation but it was very understanding, forgiving and reciprocal. By the end of the walk we were pushing each other around and laughing until we got back to the party.
We floated around the party as a dynamic duo though I wasn't sure exactly where it was going. I found a fancy fur coat somewhere in the house, put it on and announced to her, "Your king has arrived!" in an epic, boisterous voice. She laughed, and then hugged me. One of those good 30-second hugs you don't want to ever end. I remember feeling her love through the hug, knowing I had her again.
I had 60mg of Adderall yesterday along with a lot of beer so all things considered this was a very conventional dream. Still, why I have regular dreams (and have for years) about a girl I dated for a few months four years ago and haven't seen since is a mystery to me. It might be because I've always obtained some sort of closure with ex's and never long after a breakup but with her I wasn't in a mental place where I was even capable of that closure, and it took a long time to reach that place due to many extenuating circumstances. And now it's been too long. We could easily get in touch with each other but I suspect our relationship as it was is probably inconsequential to her at this point. Suffice it to say, the whole thing is probably digging at my subconscious and my dreams offer equal parts closure and torture.
I woke up and jotted this down shorthand, then went back to sleep until 2 PM. The dreams that followed were more of what I'd expect them to be like given the circumstances, which is to say they were as if I had ADD.
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Lucid Technique: MILD
This dream has been viewed 279 times.
Hanging out in a three-floor building, friends abound just doing their own thing. I decide to go to sleep on my bed, which is a mattress on the floor. I go into a dream where everyone's sleeping around me but I'm aware that I'm dreaming. I can hear my thoughts almost as if it's a voice outside my body, as if I'm giving instruction from the dream above. "Let's go downstairs to the basement." It's dark down there, can't see much. "Imagine light bulbs." I do it but it's not quite working and trying to force it makes the lucidity waver, so I imagine what the basement would look like lit up first, working my way up to creating the atmosphere before the light bulbs. Soon the floor is lined with light bulbs, just sort of coming up from the floor like plants. "Turn them on." I turn them on by willing it. The room is lit up. I decide I want to test the lucidity by making a ridiculous amount of light bulbs, so I quintuple (or so) the amount of bulbs, now they're stacked up. "Have fun with it." I start raising my hands up, trying to will the bulbs to become light-emitting water fountains. It takes several attempts, and I look like something out of Fantasia trying to summon water, but it works, and the room is lit up when different colored-lights with water shooting up to the ceiling.
I head back upstairs and I'm confused about which room is mine. I'm trying to get back to my bed but I go into the wrong room. I think, "Is that Kaleigh?" (ex-girlfriend) She sits up from her bed taken aback by my presence and I say with some difficulty, groggy-ish, slurring, "I'm sorry, I don't know where I am right now. I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to disturb you. I'll leave." I come to the conclusion that I've been sleep-walking while lucid. Embarrassed and confused, I wander upstairs and get in my bed in an attempt to wake up from what has now become a somewhat upsetting 2nd-depth dream.
I wake up in my bed on the floor. Lucidity gone, I go back to being unaware that I'm dreaming. The place is bustling, lots of people, it's a party. Kaleigh comes in and sits on the bed with me, which surprises me because I think she hates me. I continue to apologize and explain myself, then give her a hug to show there's no hard feelings in general, from our past, from our present. I told her about how I missed her and how I wished things had gone differently back in the day. It's like the conversation I wish I could have with her but can't.
I remember having a gun on a nightstand and when I go over to pick it up it has become a flashlight, which apparently someone has taken apart to use the lens on a projector, which people are watching a 3D movie on with the 3D glasses. I decide to go outside. On my way out I pass by various people hearing snippets of conversation, one of which was someone telling Eric from East Wind that he needs to keep down his music-playing because it kept the guy up at 1:30 in the morning the prior night.
Outside I'm in a city. Behind a nearby skyscraper something huge peers at me. It's head is too large to be covered by the building and it's peeking from one side to the other as if playing a game with me. When it turns sideways I realize it's a massive tank on stilts with the neck and head of a giraffe coming off the top. I give chase until it stops on a busy, vehicle-packed street, the side opens and a man hops out. The area is bustling and it's reminiscent of a working-class New York neighborhood in the 1940's. The man comes over and I ask where he got such a thing and leans in and whispers, "Some guy left it running in a parking lot one day and I snagged it." A big mischevious grin spreads across his face. He offers me a cigarette, I say yes, he pulls out three different brand packs of menthol cigarettes (yuck) and says, "Take a pack." I grab Mavericks. (yuck) People are bumping into me on occasion and assuming they're pick-pocketing I check my pockets and find that they're putting things IN my pockets, like money, cigarettes, a lighter, etc.
I woke up at 9:30 and stayed up for about 10 minutes, went back to sleep for 2 hours. I hear that usually does wonders for lucidity, ie, gaining some grounding and diving back into the dreamworld can give you that reference point. Drank beers last night, as well.
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This dream has been viewed 536 times.
The dream began in an old video store I used to work at. Night time. My friend Chris was there hanging out while I worked. Some guy came in and was trying to rob the place, and I yelled for Chris during the struggle because I remembered that sometimes he like to keep a pistol. He slid a heavy revolver across the floor to me unloaded and I picked it up, and then he slid two rounds to me as well. They were in the form of weird leaf pod things that flutter to the ground. I thought this was stupid because I am semi-lucid for this entire dream, but crunched them in anyway and blew the guy away. The kick was intense and the gun was super loud. The manager Ken ran out of the back and started yelling, so we got out as quickly as possible.
Once outside, Chris decided we needed to go to a weed dealer's house nearby. I said, "Is this going to be quick? Because I think we should get out of here as quick as possible." He reassured me and we went there, but it wasn't quick and they ended up leaving me there. I was digging through cigarette butts in the ashtray on the living room table (in real life I'm quitting smoking, day 2). My friend Ashleigh came down the stairs and, having always had a crush on her, I asked her to come with me upriver because I just shot a guy.
We left and went up the nearby river in a little boat, and there was something about a bigger boat going by and ours being pulled under water or something... when we came up time had passed and we were further upriver but it was still night. Jude and a couple other people were with us now. Later, we tied up our boat and camped on the riverbank. Ashleigh is a lesbian and when I was dating Adele, the three of us tried to initiate some sort of relationship because I was, for some reason, the One Male Exception. Here again, I tried my best. I said, "Look, when are you going to give me a shot? When I was with Adele you were all about me for some reason but I think the complexity of a three-way relationship was scary for you. I'm single now and I think we should try. Worst case scenario, you're even more confident in the fact that you don't like men. Otherwise, you find out that maybe you're bisexual and had a lot more options than you realized." Her face lit up wiith a smile and she said, "I think you just convinced me." And I was hella stoked, as they say. She gave me a bigass kiss and we cuddled until we drifted off on the sleeping blanket.
When I woke up in the early morning I realized there were a lot more people at the river bank. Through sleepy eyes I looked to my left and all of the most beautiful, self-assured women I've met were clustered up and walking over to the river to swim. Ashleigh, Jude, Sage, and others, with horny old Zeke the pervert in tow. I got up and joined the large group of people gathered nearby, which was made up of pretty much everyone else I know. I saw Andy smoking a cigarette and pulled out a pouch of Bali Shag that had some butts in it and started to re-roll them while approaching Andy. I noticed he had a black eye and I tried to be a little sensitive about it. "Are you all right?" Hollis came out of nowhere with "What happened to your fuckin' eye, man!?" Andy's used to Hollis so he laughed, but then got serious again and said, "I don't know what to do now. Where am I going to live? Where am I going to work? What am I supposed to do?" From this statement I deduced that everyone had been displaced somehow. Upon lighting my cigarette, I woke up.
I feel like my dreams have been mostly lucid lately. It's just kind of... there. And I make the active choice not to embellish the situation, as if I use all my lucid powers to make the situation limited and my interactions with people realistic. I could throw it into some crazy thing where I'm having sex with 8 beautiful women, but I'd rather use the opportunity to practice possible interactions so that I don't have to fantasize. In fact, almost any time I'm not having a crazy violent nightmare I'm lucid and use the lucidity to have a normal dream for once.